My book, The Female Assumption: A Mother's Story, Freeing Women From the View That Motherhood is a Mandate, will be published in the next few weeks. It will be available via Amazon by mid-October. It will take a little longer to work its way into other distribution channels (B&N, B&T, etc.). Space is limited for this Book Discussion; please register in advance by emailing HolmesRSVPS at yahoo dot com. (Experienced bloggers spell out email addresses in order to protect from spam-bots). The location will be Alsip, IL. When you Email me, I'll give you further details.

I've interviewed/polled 200 women (U.S. & international), those with & without children, and heard a high level of assumptions that motherhood is the ultimate expression of womanhood, that the truest form of love is between mother & child, and motherhood is "the one" experience that brings meaning to a woman's life. Motherhood is a fulfilling path--and there are many more. Love, family, meaning, happiness--these are subjective terms. No one means for a woman to feel pain or confusion; no one wants a woman to turn away from family or friends who prod them with questions--but it happens. Some women never wanted motherhood; some assumed they'd experience it and didn't; many are at peace with their lives...but many are not...because of things they hear from those closest to them. It's time to update the scripts we use with females. Women are whole beings. What brings meaning to my life may not be the same for you; and vice versa. Let's speak with the language of acceptance and love. Let's support rather than judge. Let's encourage and respect women--all women--whatever paths they are journeying. I'm a mom with 30 years "mothering" perspective; I bring a unique thread to this discussion. My inspiration: my daughter; Author Madelyn Cain who grappled with this topic at the dawn of the 21st century (2001) when her daughter was a teenager; Author Elizabeth Gilbert who referred to herself as a Criminal Jerk because she didn't want what she was "supposed" to want (marriage & babies); and an exceptional sociology professor, Dr. Patricia O'Brien. I hope what I bring forth will enlighten, encourage, and enliven the discussions about the authenticity of the female experience.

Melanie Holmes